What do I have to do, where do I have to go, to find a…

For no more than 0?

I have burned through 3 vacuum cleaners in 2 and a half years, 1 bissell and 2 hoovers (the last hoover only lasted 6 months), each one cost me over 0. Why is the quality of vacuum cleaners so poor these days? They’re all made of cheap plastic and substandard parts, and the bagless wind tunnel/cyclone system is so complicated, with filters, screens, and attachments that take a rocket scientist to figure out and maintain that it’s driving me bananas.

I’m a pretty tech savvy, mechanically inclined guy. But my wife is not, and if an 8 year old can’t figure it out, for the money, I don’t want it. I’m sick of all the "tunnels" and "cyclones", and stupid plastic fairings and receptacles to empty (after each use, no less — can I go a couple of days without having to take the whole thing apart to dump the dag thing?). When I was a kid, we had a self-propelled hoover bag-upright that lasted my entire childhood, and an electrolux canister vac that lasted my mom’s entire child hood AND mine. WTH? Going back to bags can’t be too bad at this point.

Is there a vacuum that I will not have to take a second mortage out on my house to buy, that can last at least 3 years?

What about Oreck? Are they any good? I’ve heard lots on both sides. What about electrolux?

Please, I’m at my wit’s end, and suddenly fresh out of bananas. Thank you kindly, in advance.

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